Things to Avoid When Going Through a Divorce: 9 Do-Nots

1. Do not be afraid to get a therapist. Most people do not want to see a therapist. But this is going to be one of the most trying times of your life. You need someone to talk through the difficult feelings and choices you are faced with. You are separated emotionally from your spouse, someone who likely provided this outlet for you for many years. It is important to find a therapist that you can trust, who can help you navigate this trying time.
2. Do not remove your wife from your health insurance at the beginning of a divorce. This can make it look like you are doing it for retribution. The Court can view this unfavorably. Moreover, Courts will often order you to reinstate your spouse, something that can be very difficult and/or costly.
3. Do not pick a fight over personal property that doesn’t matter. In most divorce cases, there are plenty or important battles to fight. Do not waste your time or money arguing over replaceable things. They can be factored into the final disposition of property, and being reasonable to work with can be looked at positively by the Court.
4. Do not move out of your home without some sort of plan or agreement. This is especially true if you have minor children. Moving out of the home with minor children can have a serious impact on child custody and child support determinizations made by the Court.
5. Do not disobey any part of a Court Order. When the Court issues an order that you do not agree with, you still need to follow it. The Court expects both parties to fully follow each order, and the party that does not follow the Court’s orders may be penalized. If the Court issues an order that you do not think is fair, it is important to have your attorney take the appropriate action with the Court to attempt to remedy the issue.
6. Do not tell your children bad things about your wife. Even if they are true, it is not good to talk negatively about your wife in front of the minor children during the divorce process. It may be important to discuss with a therapist about ways to discuss potential causes of the divorce in a healthy way with your children.
7. Do not hide money. It is very difficult to hide money from the Court and opposing party. They will likely find it, and when they do, you will come across as the bad guy in the proceeding. Disclose all your financial positions to your attorney and allow them to craft a strategy to best protect your assets.
8. Do not forget to make sure your parenting time agreement works with your schedule. Make sure to think about your future schedule and the best way that the minor children can be integrated into your life as fully as possible. It is important to not agree to any custody proposal before confirming that your schedule will allow for you to fully participate in your children’s lives according to the terms of the agreement.
9. Do not assume that you can always change your divorce settlement later. Make sure you carefully read, and agree to, any settlement that you accept. Property settlements can almost never be modified after the fact. Custody modifications are legally allowed but are burdensome and have no guarantee of a desired outcome.

Disclaimer: The information provided on this blog is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be legal advice. The content of this blog is not intended to create, and receipt of it does not constitute, an attorney-client relationship. Readers should not act upon this information without seeking professional legal counsel. The opinions expressed at or through this blog are the opinions of the individual author and may not reflect the opinions of the blog or any individual attorney.